The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Patterson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
81%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A used challenge flag
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.