The Hamstring Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
76%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A single Packers jersey, ironically worn
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.