The Doink Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
88%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.