The Wind Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
81%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.