The Wide Left Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Patterson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
76%POTENCY
-10.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.