The Wide Left Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
85%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.