The Hamstring Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Patterson is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
79%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Panthers jersey, ironically worn
- A single tear from a Falcons fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.