The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Patterson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
76%POTENCY
-13.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.