The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Patterson's stadium. Only over Patterson.
87%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.