The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Patterson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
74%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Titans locker room
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.