The Hamstring Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Patterson tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
89%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single tear from a Cowboys fan
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Eye of 49ers, tongue of ref,
Bring Ravens down to grief,
Patterson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.