The Mystery Tweak Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Patterson is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Patterson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
73%POTENCY
-9.9PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Falcons locker room
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.