The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Fitzgerald is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Fitzgerald will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Fitzgerald is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
72%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Fitzgerald drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.