The Late Scratch Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“Fitzgerald gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida State's biggest rival.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Fitzgerald attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- A mysterious flag erases Fitzgerald's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
85%POTENCY
-11.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fitzgerald's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.