The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Fitzgerald's stadium. Only over Fitzgerald.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Fitzgerald gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Fitzgerald hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
92%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Giants fan
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fitzgerald's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.