The Late Scratch Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Fitzgerald trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Fitzgerald is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Fitzgerald gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida State's biggest rival.
91%POTENCY
-9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Fitzgerald, Fitzgerald, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.