The Upright Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Fitzgerald's stadium. Only over Fitzgerald.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Fitzgerald gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida State's biggest rival.
- Fitzgerald will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
78%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Fitzgerald's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.