The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam Darnold
Sam Darnold · SEA · QB
“Darnold is already "Out" with that quadriceps. The witch only has to push gently.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Darnold's week
- Darnold finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Darnold gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
87%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Dolphins jersey, ironically worn
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Darnold drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Jadarian Price
FAQ
How do I curse Sam Darnold in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam Darnold is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam Darnold actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.