The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam Darnold
Sam Darnold · SEA · QB
“Darnold is already "Out" with that quadriceps. The witch only has to push gently.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Darnold's week
- Darnold gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
- Darnold finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Darnold's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Jadarian Price
FAQ
How do I curse Sam Darnold in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam Darnold is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam Darnold actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.