The Kneel-Down Hex of Sam Darnold
Sam Darnold · SEA · QB
“A mysterious flag erases Darnold's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Darnold's week
- The play clock hits zero on Darnold four separate times. Five yards. Five yards. Five yards.
- Darnold will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.
73%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Darnold drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Jadarian Price
FAQ
How do I curse Sam Darnold in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam Darnold is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam Darnold actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.