The Late Scratch Hex of Sam Darnold
Sam Darnold · SEA · QB
“Darnold is already "Out" with that quadriceps. The witch only has to push gently.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Darnold's week
- Darnold will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Darnold is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
91%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Darnold drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Jadarian Price
FAQ
How do I curse Sam Darnold in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam Darnold is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam Darnold actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.