The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
- Ref: "Number LaPorta, that's a flag." LaPorta: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
84%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Eye of Cowboys, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.