The Phantom Flag Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- LaPorta has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
80%POTENCY
-12PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single tear from a Dolphins fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
LaPorta drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.