The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
84%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Powdered kicker confidence
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.