The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
80%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Bears fan
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.