The Chip-and-Release Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- LaPorta gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
92%POTENCY
-18.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.