The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- LaPorta finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
90%POTENCY
-9.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
LaPorta drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.