The Invisible Route Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- LaPorta will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
79%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
LaPorta's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.