The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
89%POTENCY
-14.3PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
LaPorta drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.