The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
87%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.