The Invisible Route Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- A mysterious flag erases LaPorta's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
LaPorta, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.