The Chip-and-Release Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
83%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.