The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over LaPorta's stadium. Only over LaPorta.
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
82%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Seahawks locker room
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.