The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
80%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
LaPorta's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.