The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- Ref: "Number LaPorta, that's a flag." LaPorta: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
81%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.