The Invisible Route Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- A mysterious flag erases LaPorta's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
81%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single Jets jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
LaPorta's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.