The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
88%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.