The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over LaPorta's stadium. Only over LaPorta.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
91%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Eye of Buccaneers, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.