The Snap Count Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
- A mysterious flag erases LaPorta's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
73%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.