The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
- LaPorta lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
73%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Raiders locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
LaPorta, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.