The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
76%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single tear from a Buccaneers fan
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
LaPorta's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.