The Chip-and-Release Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
81%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.