The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- LaPorta has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
86%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A single Jets jersey, ironically worn
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
LaPorta's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.