The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- Ref: "Number LaPorta, that's a flag." LaPorta: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
83%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Eye of Panthers, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.