The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- LaPorta lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
81%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
LaPorta's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.