The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Ref: "Number LaPorta, that's a flag." LaPorta: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
84%POTENCY
-13.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A used challenge flag
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A single Saints jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
LaPorta's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.