The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
77%POTENCY
-11.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Giants locker room
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
LaPorta, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.