The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
75%POTENCY
-18.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.