The Mystery Tweak Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
79%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.