The Snap Count Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- LaPorta is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
77%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Giants locker room
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.